09.08.07 Always Loved. Never Forgotten.

I never thought I would remember every detail of that day but I do. I remember every moment of that entire week. Jennah Sue Smith was a good friend of mine who was taken from us on September 8th, 2007 in a fatal car accident near Stockwell Road. She was a member of the tennis team and also the dance team at North Montgomery High School.

When you lose someone you care about, it seems that everyone always says, "They always had a smile on their face," but she really did. I did not once see her in a bad mood or angry with anyone. She was such a fun loving person. She was so young and had so much life ahead of her. I miss her so much even still. I know that she is with our Lord watching over us. It's hard to think that it's been 3 years since she left us. And I can't imagine that it is any easier for her parents either. I pray that all who loved her may find peace in knowing that she is with God watching over us all. God Bless you sweet girl. Know that you are missed so very much.

I want to go to a place of clarity. I want to surround myself with positive people. I want to not be criticized for everything I do. I feel like I am so entirely stuck in this place of "blah." (Meaning my parent's house.) I feel like I am always walking on eggshells. I want to go somewhere where I can just BE myself. I want to not have my thoughts be thought of as "ridiculous notions." I want to not have the feeling of always wanting to pull my hair out! What is the fun in life if you are always saying no to things or trying to be something you are not? Why always be so practical?!

CELP

My photos are officially up in the office of Phil Goode at Crawfordsville Electric Light and Power! It was such a pleasure to work with Karen and Phil to get different shots of downtown Crawfordsville lighting.

Changes.

I've been told a lot that I am so easy to get along with; that I hardly ever get mad about anything. I've never truly sat down and thought about those words until now. Yes, I agree that it is not a terrible thing to be an easy-going person, but I'm afraid that I've gotten to a point in my life where I have become the one who let's anyone walk all over me. I've never been one to cause a feud nor have I ever been the type to want to be involved in anything, of, or relating to confrontational events. I guess I've always sort of avoided them. I would much rather lay low and forget things, than to deal with them and have an opinion in fear that I may be indefensible.

After my first year of college, I've grown to learn that by not taking the lead in my own life, I will ultimately get no where. That is just what I have been trying to avoid for 19 years. I was always a follower, or caught somewhere between the two.

If you can't take the lead in your own life then who is?

Recently, I've felt myself begin to understand that by not doing so, you are only going to allow others to continue to walk over you. So this is me, declaring that I am no longer taking applications for your bull-pucky. I'm not saying I've come to a realization in my life where now I all of a sudden feel the need to be a rebellious bitch, but that I am just going to not accept the things I would before, let fly. It's time to make my own way, to stop letting others use me, to put an end to following the crowd (simply because that would be easier,) and to communicate my opinion on things, because it does matter. I feel glad to have come to this realization in my life. I guess I'm finally just growing a backbone.

I need some ink.

I have been wanting a tattoo for a little bit now. I keep looking at different ones and I keep coming back to this one for some reason. I just really like it. Only thing is..will it be something I want when I'm 40? If I did get this one I think I would put it on my shoulder. I think. I just want one!! ahh.

Champions By Design Scholarship

About a month ago, the students of Ai Indy were given the chance to enter to win a $2500 scholarship and a chance to have our artwork hung in Lucas Oil Stadium for Superbowl 2012. The theme was "Champions By Design," which was very open to interpretation. When I looked up the word "champion," this is what I got:

champion |ˈ ch ampēən|

noun

1 a person who has defeated or surpassed all rivals in a competition, esp. in sports : [as adj. ] a champion hurdler.

2 a person who fights or argues for a cause or on behalf of someone else : a champion of women's rights

"A champion of women's rights," for some reason got me thinking about individuality and got me on the track of how we are "the champions of ourselves." I'm not sure how my thought process went from women's rights to individuality, but it did. I originally wanted to do a shoot of 3 different people's eyes and capture the lighting just right so that there was just enough reflection in their eyes, and then I was thinking of putting that persons' passion in the reflection of their eyes; three passions that somehow tied together in an economical way. Based on the thought of, "Together we are the world." I thought about it for a while, and then realized that I was unsure of how to execute it in a way that would get my idea across. So I ended up doing a few head-shots of my sister and two best friends. Across their cheeks I wrote the words, "I am." This idea was based on the fact that we are the champions of ourselves. Around their shots I wrote different things like, "I am power, I am unselfishness, I am generosity, ...etc." Things that make up the individualities of that person. We all are unique, and I wanted to get that across in a way that was creative and obvious by having them pose in a way that displayed their separate personalities. I guess I interpret "Champions by Design," is that we are all unique and are made up of different "designs," if you will. I just really wanted to show the beauty of the uniqueness of a person. And so, this is what I ended up with.

First studio shoot

Thankfully, I have a sister that I sucker in to helping me out. First studio shoot, just to mess around with lighting and such. Thought it went fairly well.