A shadow of what I'm thinking. A glimpse of what I'm feeling.

Sunday, July 11, 2010


I've been told a lot that I am so easy to get along with; that I hardly ever get mad about anything. I've never truly sat down and thought about those words until now. Yes, I agree that it is not a terrible thing to be an easy-going person, but I'm afraid that I've gotten to a point in my life where I have become the one who let's anyone walk all over me. I've never been one to cause a feud nor have I ever been the type to want to be involved in anything, of, or relating to confrontational events. I guess I've always sort of avoided them. I would much rather lay low and forget things, than to deal with them and have an opinion in fear that I may be indefensible.

After my first year of college, I've grown to learn that by not taking the lead in my own life, I will ultimately get no where. That is just what I have been trying to avoid for 19 years. I was always a follower, or caught somewhere between the two.
If you can't take the lead in your own life then who is?
Recently, I've felt myself begin to understand that by not doing so, you are only going to allow others to continue to walk over you. So this is me, declaring that I am no longer taking applications for your bull-pucky. I'm not saying I've come to a realization in my life where now I all of a sudden feel the need to be a rebellious bitch, but that I am just going to not accept the things I would before, let fly. It's time to make my own way, to stop letting others use me, to put an end to following the crowd (simply because that would be easier,) and to communicate my opinion on things, because it does matter. I feel glad to have come to this realization in my life. I guess I'm finally just growing a backbone.