A shadow of what I'm thinking. A glimpse of what I'm feeling.

Monday, February 7, 2011

There goes the fear.

I'm happy. I am so very happy with my life right now. Even with all the little negative things in it, I am happy. I'm learning to embrace the chaos and bad times. You can't change people, and no matter how hard you try-you just have to find happiness for you. You can't make someone see the beauty that surrounds us, or "the little things," that make us smile. I try so hard to find that deep appreciation in others, that I think it has left me wanting to find it in myself even more. Life is what you make of it. That one sentence, those seven little words have such potency. I'm in the process of finding out exactly what that sentence means. And I don't even know exactly how to explain it, but I'm just happy. For no real reason. Nothing in my life has changed. I am just seeing life in a new light.

I am surrounded by people who seem to be unable to see the world the way I do. I don't mean that in a self righteous, "I'm better than them," kind of way. I mean, the people I've been surrounded by for all my life, have completely forgotten how to embrace the overall good in their everyday lives. I have witnessed the happiness drain from them over the years. They have let all the negative things in their lives control them and consume them. It's like they've become so accustomed to the "everyday," that they are no longer being real with themselves. The grudges, the hate, the bad days they've had in the past. We have all had bad days, and terrible things happen in our lives at some point. Don't let it control you. Rebel against it and prove the past wrong. I suppose it's a choice we all make. We can either live with the weight of the past, or look forward to the love in tomorrow. The world can be a cruel and terrible thing, I know. But I also know that the world is so full of love and amazing things.

I am at a point in my life where I am ready to take on reality. I am ready to fail and succeed, to discover a new place and live in a terrible apartment, to meet new people and fall in love, learn to cook exotic dishes and see the world. Life is beautiful and scary but this is my one and only life, and its a great and terrible and short and endless thing, and none of us come out of it alive. So if you are happy, be fully happy. We don't have forever, so find happiness in the craziness of this life. Somewhere between the traffic jams, bad mornings, and all the student loans, there is something to smile about, even if for just a second.

"Stop putting things in boxes. You will become an educated fool if you stop listening. Don’t stop listening."- Jacob Dobson